I know.....

I haven't fallen through
I am still committed
Worked overnight last night
CRAZY busy !!!!!
came home and slept for 3 hours
now going to staff meeting
feeling like a zombie
I know we can still shed these pounds
We just have to both heave ourselves back
into the saddle again !! I'm willing !!!
I bought all healthy food yesterday for groceries !!!

Love ya
Kaffi

so much for commitment hey?

wow!

neither of us posted yesterday.

Our pledge seems pretty shaky right now.

:(

Friday and Saturday

At least when we fall we fall together :)

Friday: Wow - now I see why we do this daily.....my memory sucks.

Saturday: breakfast: sausage n egg mcmuffin (yes McDonald's)

lunch: 7 meat balls and 2 small rolls

Supper: 1 1/2 servings of Goulash

Snack: rolo icecream (yes go hard or go home) :) Just checked.....and a rolo icecream ...you know the one with the chocolate cone? it's 6 points not as much as I would have thought.

Yes DEFINITELY back on the wagon tomorrow !!!!

Love ya girl !!!
Kaffi

Friday & Saturday: Some Wagon Falling

Yesterday, Friday, was Teacher Appreciation Day which comes once a year. I had an egg white sandwich for breakfast on 1 piece of bread with just water for drink. Lunch I went to town on the treats and supper was a frozen panini with a candy apple during the movie. Got all my water in.

Today, Saturday, was a banana for breakie. Leftover homemade pizza for lunch with a mint aero bar and diet 7 up.

Snacks were a green apple and a zero point jello.

Supper was a cheeseburger happy meal and dessert was some ice cream and 1/4 of one churro.

Drank 5 glasses of water today.

back on the wagon tomorrow!

My Thursday

Breakfast: 200g yogurt (2pts)
1 cup mixed berries (2 pts)
sp K cereal 1/2 cup (1 pt)
(24 pts left)

Lunch: 2 cups split pea soup (6pts)
1 small bun (2pts)
1 tsp marg (1 pt)
(15 pts left)

snack: 1 orange(2 pts)
1 cup fresh pineapple (2 pts)
1 bag of all bran bites (1 pt)
(10 pts left)

Supper: 1 HC frozen dinner (5 pts)

Snack: 1 bag crispy mini delights (2 pts)
(3 pts left)

That's it I then went to bed.

Hope you're having a good day.
Love,
Kaffi

It is hard to name these eh? So... like Thursday eh? LOL

Breakie: egg with cal reduced bread with margarine, smidge ketchup, cup orange juice & large orange: 2+1+2+2+2= 9 pts

Lunch: 1 cup peaches in pear juice, did slidey thingie and1 pt, and 7 pt WW frozen pizza (was major yummy!) 1+7 = 8

Drank 8 glasses H2O by 8 pm!

Supper: beans & weiners: all remaining points!!!

Granola bar for dessert: 3 flex pts

I have to start carrying over the flex pts from day to day to keep track of them.

Heddi's Wednesday's Consumption & Points Accountability

Kaffi,

whew! what a day! I was up until about 2 a.m. so I felt wiped most of day.

Had a great day at work though. I told Karin I was working at back of room with music on in headphones and not to disturb me so I could focus on Utilization statement work and it went well. I have a good handle on it and am excited to resume the work tomorrow.

Breakie consisted of: 1 cup of orange juice 2 pts, 1 WW muffin 2 pts, & a banana 2 pts

Lunch: L/O tortellini, 6 pts, and Watermelon, 2 pts, and 2!!! yes, 2!!! little Jello cups that are 0 points

So I headed into suppertime with 14 pts gone and 14 left.

Supper was Grilled Chicken Teriyaki Skillet Sensation 5 pts and a Peanut Butter Chocolate Granola Bar for 3 points. So 14 - 8 = 6 pts left at 10:08 pm

I feel pretty hungry right now... for several reasons I think.

• You & I just talked for ages on phone about foods, comfort foods, cravings, filling feeling etc. and so it made me really reflect on whether my tummy feels empty or not
• I am not getting the water in this week and that is making me feel pretty empty, HAVE TO GET BACK INTO IT!!!
• and lastly because as I told you that damn Skillet Sensations 1 person portion is frigging small man.

so I am having another granola bar eh and likely going to bed with a pt or two left.

Love ya!

xo

H

Wednesday

Hi Heddi,

well today was ok food wise
Breakfast: 1 body wise english muffin (2pts)
1 TBSP peanut butter (2 pts)
(25 pts left)

Lunch: Healthy Choice Frozen chicken dinner (6 pts)

Supper: ate a fudgesicle while cooking (mmmmm LOVE them) (2 pts)
1 portebella mushroom pizza (3 pts for melted cheese)
7 oz barbequed pork (10 pts)
(4 pts left)

I must confess that I have hardly had any water today.......especially after last night I REALLY need to flush out with water.......so I will work on that now :)

Love ya,
Kaffi

Am I Speechless?

wow... I feel like you have rendered me speechless (or should I say type-less?). wow.... wow... seems like the most I can say.

I am full of so much I want to say to you. You are incredible. Karen would be so proud too! I know that for certain! Un-FUCKING-believable!!! Kathleen, I must tell you something, you my dear are growing up! And maybe I am too.

Our little freaking Weight Watcher blog is morphing into what it also needs to be. An outpouring of emotion and a cleansing of all the shit that piled up with the pounds or led to the pounds ---- you know what I mean.

why the hell am I sitting here craving fucking Oreos & milk now? thanks a friggin' heap babe! ;)

WHAT I ADMIRE ABOUT KAFFI

• Kaffi loves her kids with lioness verocity.
• Kaffi believes in fairy tale endings.... she may say on occassions she doesn't but she does and I know it and share it.
• Kaffi believes with her entire being in our Lord and doesn't not hesitate to journey far and long to further her relationship and others with him
• Kaffi is dedicated to the clients that she serves at work and will give 150% at work

WHAT I WANT TO KICK KAFFI'S ASS ABOUT

• Kaffi has walls and I want her to fucking kick them down, she is a wondrous person and people deserve to know her and people need to get in to do so and guess what, she can get to know them too
• Kaffi should have called me instead of Ward.
• Kaffi needs to change her fucking voice mail. I hate it!!! It is not Kaffi. It is some woman named Kathleen and she is not my friend. Kaffi is. Professional voices are for work phones. If I call and don't reach my friend, the last thing I want to hear is her gorgeous cultured cool professional voice, I want to AT THE VERY LEAST hear the person I love who is warm and funny and loveable.

I love you with my entire heart. I believe that we will do this Kaff! We will not only lose the weight but we will grow up and shed the skins / walls and scars with our metamorphosis.

I am soooooo incredibly proud of you. Part of me is happy you did not call... because you did it all on your own. You felt it all, you dealt with it all, and you learned from it and you soared babe!!! In the same circumstances, I hope I have the courage and conviction to do the same.

love you!

xoxo

H

TOTALLY FUCKED UP - A RANT

TOTALLY FUCKED UP

Well Heddi, I came home from work last night absolutely ravenous. I was hungry all night. I took a wonderful salad with me plus some carrots and low fat munchies. Didn't matter I was starving !!

So I came home at 12:45am and devoured a bowl of goulash (leftover from the kids supper that I made them before going to work) 1 piece of WW bread with margarine. By this time I'm thinking fuck it I've already fallen off the fucking wagon so then got a glass of milk with 4 oreos.

After this I was so depressed that I blew it that I was seriously trying to figure out how I could avoid you with all the WW stuff. Then it happened.........

Instead of feeling comforted and warm and fuzzy like I have MY WHOLE LIFE WHEN I EAT A MEAL RIGHT BEFORE BED !!!!! I started to feel intense cramps and my stomach was making noises I have never heard of before. I considered going to the bathroom and forcing myself to throw up......then I thought ya right I don't even want to go there !!! So at around 1:10am, I settled into bed in agony for the next 75 minutes waiting for my "comfort food" to digest !!!

So.... 75 minutes is a lot of time to think. I picked up the phone to call Ward, as he usually is someone I enjoy talking to. Stupidly, I tried to "start" to tell a "man" how I was feeling about what I had just done.So, I guess he thought (like men usually do) that I wanted him to fix it because he all of a sudden became my weight loss counsellor and was telling me what to do and not do. I believe it was at the point of him saying "if you really want this....you're going to have to make better choices" WELL.....let's just say it wasn't pretty ....it started off with who do you think you are? My father? (for anyone reading this who doesn't know.....growing up my father used to torment me relentlessly daily about my weight usually until I was in tears and running up to my room, where I would then seek comfort in the hidden chocolate bars there) So comparing him to my father was pretty low but he got the point !! There was some more ranting which included things like.......I could teach a nutrition and weight loss class.....I have been through this all my life I KNOW what to do and not to do !!! If it were THAT FUCKING EASY I WOULD NOT BE FAT!!!! It's like adopting the slogan from the drug education....Just don't do it......well that doesn't work for drug addicts....duh because they are addicted......and saying "JUST DON'T EAT IT" doesn't work for me because there is more than the knowledge of health and nutrition here......it's feelings and dealing with all the bullshit years that I went through with my dad growing up. So needless to say I will not discuss my weight loss journey with Ward anymore. He was VERY apologetic and felt very bad.

Then after I hung up from Ward, still feeling like shit, I realized something. Remember when I had the Chinese food for mother's day? I suffered like hell for it because of the deep fried food? Well since then I have not craved or been even tempted to eat Chinese food. :) So, I then thought.....this is the first time that I actually had a meal before bed (like I always used to) and now because my stomach is used to smaller amounts and healthier foods, my stomach reacted in a VERY bad way. The last thing I felt was comfort. I felt pain and discomfort and real guilt.

This is not an experience I would want to repeat.

So, even though this was a complete fuck up......I learned from it plus because of my body's reaction I think it will deter me from craving that "comfort fix" before bed. Especially now knowing how much pain I went through. In the short 5-6 weeks that I have been following WW my body HAS changed. It now prefers smaller meals, and I now know the signs that I am getting satisfied and stop eating. Before the feeling of FULL used to be comforting and it was the feeling I aimed for each time I sat down to eat - now I find that feeling VERY uncomfortable. My stomach not only prefers smaller meals but healthier meals - I find I now have a low tolerance to fried foods and foods high in sugar (was REALLY dizzy last night after the 4 oreos)

So I guess this morning I woke up and I thought WHATEVER !!! So you fucked up !!! that was last night - it's over !!! I have been working hard to change my eating habits and my life in the past 6 weeks - that's apx 1000 hours of "good" choices......so in ONE hour I made some bad ones. Hmmmmm Oh Well !!! I'm sticking with the 1000 hours of good choices :) and live:

ONE DAY AT A TIME WITH ZERO GUILT AND JUST KEEP MOVING ON !!!!!

I suppose if I counted last night, I had 4 points left for the night plus I had already used 19 flex points this week.........

So the bowl of goulash (9pts) piece of bread (2 pts) margarine (1pt) milk (2pts) 4 oreos (6 pts)

= 20 pts for my fuck up So I had 4 pts left for the night so that's down to 16 points ....... WOW that puts my flex points exactly at 35 !!!

Today is a new day full of brand new opportunities :)

(pssst before I would have already thrown in the towel.....do ya think that shows that I'm changing on the inside too??)

Love ya

Kaffi

Tuesday for Heddi

SUPPER was 2/3 cup of tortellini cooked in low fat tomato sauce = 6 pts & a large salad with some shredded cheese and calorie reduced dressing = 3 pts.

1.67 pts left at 9:38 p.m. LOL Only drank 3 glasses of water today dammit!

Was diving into some flexage points as had a 2 pt WW muffin, a 0 pt thingie of Jello so that is just -0.333 LOL but I also had watermelon - 1 pt so ended the day with -1.33 over in flex.

Tired Tuesday

Good Morning Heddi,

I worked until 1230am yesterday and got home around 1am. Had to battle apx 8-9 friggin June bugs to get in my building !!!!!! and then couldn't settle down to sleep until about 230pm. So now it's 8:45am the kids have gone to school, and I am going back to sleep because I am working again tonight 2-1230. I had my breakfast.

Breakfast: 100g yogurt (1 pt)
1/2 cup strawberries (1 pt)
1/2 cup sp k (1 pt)
(26 pts left)

Lunch: 1 8 0z chicken breast(5 pts) eaten at the sink with apx 3 Tbsp barbq sauce (1pt)(20 pts left)

Supper: 1 cup pasta with 1/2 cup meat sauce (6 pts)1 salad with 4oz chicken(5pts) (9 pts left)

2 bag of crispy minis (4 pts) 1 bag of all bran snack bites (1 pt) (4 pts left)

I am really hungry today for some reason !!!!!!! :(

Love ya,

Kaffi

Manic Monday - How I Did

Today began same as yesterday with yogurt, banana and cheerios thrown in. 5 points and then I had a VitaMuffin (Double Chocolate Chip) 1 point Thanks Alanna!!!! loved it. So bfast was 6 points total.

Afternoon: had 10 baked kettle chips: 1 point and one scoop ice cream cone on outing with kids: 4 points. So afternoon ended with 5 point consumption.

Entering evening with 17 points left.

Had pretzels with a burger on a whole wheat bun with 1 cheese slice and ketchup. Have only gotten 6 glasses of water into me today. Ok, the pretzels were 4 pts, the bun was 2 cuz it was whole wheat, the burger was 9, the cheese slice was 1 and the ketchup was also 1. So the meal was 16 pts. I later had a 2 pt jersey milk (you know the teeny ones you get at Halloween) so I am ending the day 1 pt overdrawn.

Today was manic as kids fighting drives me nuts, and we were celebrating having our dog for a year and took her to a beach and special walk and she got hurt and we wound up at Emerg Animal hospital. She is on anti-inflammatory med now as she pulled ligaments in her knee. I hurt my back carrying my darling 19.3 lb pooch.

Manic Monday

I wanted to share some pics

I lost more then 5 lbs of fat this past week :) This is what 5 lbs of fat look like. My doctor has a model of it. eeeew! gross eh! And I have another 18 of these to lose.

So I am feeling very much on program. Counting everything. :) Using Grant's points calculator, (he got this for free when he joined and bought the coupons this time), the website calculator and the list. I am also using the points ticker thingy. I bought this when I joined this time. I am also measuring everything. I hunted up my ancient Weight Watcher scale. From when I was a teen ager I think!

I also love love love my Weight Watcher serving spoons: I have one that is a cup and one that is a 1/2 cup. And this measuring spoon is amazing! After you fill it, it has not one but two slidey thingies that push every last bit of what was in the spoon out! :) These are things I bought years ago but so glad I still have them!

But I am afraid too. While I feel really committed to this all right now, I am so worried that the same thing that has happened before will happen again. I sabotage myself. I am trying really hard to reflect to figure out why I fall off the wagon. They say you will never lose it all and / or keep it off if you do not figure out why you had it on in the first place. Having all the WW gadgets through belonging to WW since I was 13 did not give me ultimate success. They are tools and are only as good as the person using them. I need to get it done this time. I am worth it!

Holiday Monday

Hey Heddi,

Well this morning I got up early and did4 loads of laundry before work. I also packed up a picnic
to take with the kids to public gardens. We are going to have a pic nic around 1pm and then I will go to work from there. Hope your day is a good one.

Breakfast: 1 hfww wrap (0 pts)
1 egg (2 pts)(27 pts left)
3 slices turkey bacon (2 pts)(25 pts left)

Lunch: 1 cup left over casserole (9 pts) (16 pts left)

Afternoon snack: small ice cream without cone (4 pts) (12 pts left)

Supper: 10 oven baked french fries (1.5 pts) (10.5 pts left)

1 chicken burger (12.5 pts) (2 flex pts used)

WW mini bar (1 pt) (3 flex pts used) (19 flex points used in total this week !!!)

Love ya,
Kaffi

Sunday

Hi Heddi,

I had a good Sunday. Very relaxing :)

Breakfast: 200 ml yogurt (2 pts) (27 pts left)
1 banana (2 pts) (25 pts left)
1/2 cup Sp K cereal (1 pt) (24 pts left)

Lunch: 1 cup left over casserole (9 pts) (15 pts left)

Supper: 5 oz skinless chicken breast (5 pts) (10 pts left)
half of my plate covered with green and yellow beans
1/2 cup rice (3 pts) (7 pts left)

Dessert: 1 mind blowing fudgesicle (think I am getting addicted) (2 pts) (5 pts left)

Snack: 17 baked Lays chips (4 pts) (1 pt left)

2 Litres of water today :)

Wow, Heddi you have done alot of walking !!! That is awesome !! With all the walking you did yesterday you may as well have walked in the Bluenose marathon !! Next year right?

Love ya,
Kaffi

Lonely Sunday on the Internet

Kaffi,

How is your Sunday going? Tried to connect to do a walk or outing.

So... I wonder if I am mega-diligent by being on here blogging points or mega-pathetic as it is a wonderful day.

Here goes: it is 4:07 and I have consumed 4 glasses of water.

Bfast: 1/2 cup of yogurt: 1.5 pts, 1 banana cut up in it: 2 pts, handful of honey nut cheerios: 1 pt

Mid Morning Long weekend pigout snack: 3, yes! 3 fudgesicles: 6 pts

Lunch: Same megadelicious wrap as yesterday: 5 points

So I have eaten 15.5 points today and have 12.5 left for remainder of day.

Walked to church at 5:20 p.m. and after mass, walked to mom and dad's. At their place I had Lean Cuisine Chicken Carbonara - 6 points, I also had a cheese slice while making Lil D's grilled cheese. It was 1 point. I had two glasses of Lacteeze milk 1% = 4 points. I had a sliver of mom's pound cake 6 points. And a mom brownie!!! 5 points. Holy hefty point supper. 22 points!!!

So I overate by 9.5 points. Thank the lord above for flex points.

Saturday :)

What a beautiful day! :) Not only because of weather but also because you lost 9 lbs! wow! amazing amazing amazing! congrats! way to go! I am hugging you... through the keyboard.. but still am hugging you. & high fiving you and fist bumping you. LOL

So... felt mega hungover taking them to Kindai Bujitsu so early today.... but you were up even earlier then that!

All I have consumed is 2 glasses of water and a big ass orange so far. I am at 28 points now. Which is my lucky / favorite number so I am amped especially with your loss and my loss. :) We are doing it. So I am gonna count the big orange as 3 points since so big and heading to rest of day with 25 pts.

We are off for an adventure somewhere, maybe Victoria Park. Wish you were coming with. Have a great day. Feel better!

love

H

xo

Lunch was a mega delicious wrap: total 7 points. So 7 from 25 is 18.

So now it is 9:28 pm. Me, the kids & Poconos went to Point Pleasant Park and walked for: (drumroll please) 2 1/2 hrs!!!! I think I may be in pain tomorrow. LOL Not sure how many activity points would have been gained but hopefully they were enough to account for the ice cream at the front of the park afterwards and then the kit kat, small coke & popcorn in the children's movie pak I had while watching Shrek.

So researched everything today: the ice cream cone was 8 points not including the cone. No clue the point for the actual cone. The kid pak at Empire was 5 pts for the popcorn!!!! 5 pts for the Kit Kat, and 2 pts for the small fountain coke. So 12 pts at the movies and 8 pts at PPP. 20 points. There goes those 2 1/2 hrs of walking. :( Then as I had no supper.... I finished Delisca's salad 1 point and ate Dani's 2 leftover bagel bites 2pts.

So I had 18 pts before the walk. I ate 20 at movies and park and ate another 3 so I was -5. Ended day with 5 flex points gone.

Saturday-Weigh In day

Well I went to WW and I lost 9 pounds. :D So I am now down to 29 points a day.

So far for breakfast I had: 1 cup of yogurt (4 pts) (25 pts left)
1/2 cup berries (.5 pts) (24.5 pts left)

Lunch:
hfww wrap (o pts)
1/2 cup tuna salad (4 pts) (20 pts left)
1 revello (3 pts) (17 pts left)

Ok so, ended up going to the wedding.....didn't want to....but I had committed myself and my salad and casserole......so I thought if it were me getting married - I'd want the people to show up. :) So comparitively to how I would have eaten before at a "church potluck" (mormons REALLY know how to do a potluck!!) I think I did ok. I was not full or uncomfortable. I partook of 2 sweets. (before it would have been a whole plate of sweets) So I am good with my day.......so here goes:

Supper: 1 egg salad sandwich (11 pts) (7pts left) hmmm.......feeling like I might be dipping into my flex pts here lol
1 cup of maccaroni casserole ( 9 pts) (2 flex pts used)
1/2 piece of wedding cake (6pts) (8 flex pts used)
** note was just looking up the points for 1 chocolate square in our book......and found out that 1 oz of cooked SQUIRREL is 1 pt !!!!!!! EWWWWW !!!!! **
so.....1 chocolate square (6 pts) (14 flex pts used)
Right now DAvid is laughing at me because I was saying to myself .....hmm need to go to M&M website and find out how points it is for 1 chocolate squirrel !!! LOL ewwww

Ok wow, this was very educational for me - I really thought I did well.......... I shudder to think how many calories I have consumed at past potlucks !!! WOW !!

Ok well this is me being real :) really glad I only ate one square and resisted the other two varities that were calling my name !!

Love ya,
Kaffi

Updated, Adjusted & Added

Hey Kaffi,

I updated my intake for today to this point. I adjusted my weight ticker! (as you know since you popped by and treated me to my sub! xo thank you! & helped me adjust it) and I also added my virtual me's. (also thanks to your assistance!)

luv

H

My Friday...

Well, Heddi
I just finished supper and am now typing this in eating a fudgesicle. I'm thinking "Oh my God !! Since when do fudgesicles taste like nectar from the Gods?"mmmmm that was so worth the two points !!!

So here goes my food for the day:

Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs (4 pts) (26 pts left)
1 tsp margarine (1 pt) (25 pts left)

Lunch: 6" turkey sub from subway (6 pts) (19 pts left)

Snack: 2 fudgeos (after donating blood) (4 pts) (15 pts left)
1 cup apple juice (2 pts) (13 pts left)

Supper: Healthy Choice Cajun Chicken and Shrimp- (my fav so far I think) (5 pts) (8 pts left)
fudgesicle (2 pts) (6 pts left)

So, right now I feel full.....if I need something a little later I may grab something. Like a banana ... we'll see. I must say I am a little nervous about weighing in tomorrow-by myself:( Just joking Heddi I know that you need to be with the kids. So I will report back later :)
Bye for now,
Kaffi

WOW

HEDDI

CONGRATS ON YOUR AMAZING WEIGHT LOSS !!!

YAY !!! WOO! HOO !

What Shall Friday Hold for me & my mouth? LOL

hey Kaffi,

looking forward to giving blood today! & we have to count the points of the cookies and juice! LOL

Me and the kids slept in until 7:34!!! so was a mad dash. Sooooo tired. I cannot do WW first thing tomorrow... unless it is open at like 8:30 a.m. cuz the girls have martial arts tomorrow from 9 - 11 and I am busy the next 3 Saturdays all day after tomorrow. :( (First Aid, A Day of Staff Evaluations, Child Care Conference: Nuturing Nature and then the next Friday after that is Dani's friend bday party with me and 5 girls staying at a hotel in Dartmouth - whew! June is gonna tucker me out!) So... I suppose I could get weighed today? What are you thoughts? And now I must scramble to rummage up some food... what to eat, what to eat? The Tuesday night leader, Jim, would say, "Heather, you should have planned your breakfast last night!"

UPDATE

Breakfast: 1 cup Honey Nut Cheerios, 1 cup 1% milk, 1 apple = 6 points

Lunch: 1 6" Subway Turkey Breast Sandwich with lots veg & reduced fat mayo = 6 points

4 glasses water

Gave Blood: Had a juice box, a pak of 2 fudgeeos & a pak of 2 peak freans = 8 points

So heading into supper I have consumed 20 points!
I have 8 left!!!! I have 4 leftover from my flex points so I will be hanging on to that.

Got weighed today cuz not sure if I will have time tomorrow with girls martial arts time change. I LOST 5.4 LBS THIS WEEK!!!!!! WOOT! WOOT! SO EXCITED! :)

This blog is what helped me do it! :) and my friend's support, and the actual program and some determination. LOL :) thanks Kaffi!!!!

Good Morning....Awake at 5am :(

Well I guess I am awake for the day now :(

I see an afternoon nap in my future lol



Thought for the day :



We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. - Aristotle

Have a great day Heddi. See you this afternoon.

Love Kaffi

My Thursday

So far I have had:

Breakfast: 1 high fibre whole wheat wrap (.5 pts) (29.5 pts left)
1 egg (2 pts) (27.5 pts left)
1 slice turkey bacon (1 pt) (26.5 pts left)

Snack: 1 wrap (hfww) (.5 pts) (26 pts left)
1 banana (2 pts) (24 pts left)
1 Tbsp peanut butter (2 pts) (22 pts left)

Lunch: Healthy Choice Sweet Sesame Chicken (6 pts) (16 pts left)

Supper: 3 oz Turkey (3 pts) (13 pts left)
1 piece reg bacon (1 pt) (12 pts left)
1 oz montery jack cheese (3 pts) (9 pts left)
lots of veggies
2 tsp lite mayo (1 pt) (8 pts left)
1 large wh wheat tortilla (2 pts) (6 pts left)

No water yet because my water cooler needs a new filter !!! :(
Getting one today !!! (got new filter YAY FOR WATER COOLERS!!)
2 litres of wonderfully filtered water :D

Hmmm I see that I have 6 points left........I am really not hungry at all. So I am perplexed.......
do I eat because I have 6 points left and not listen to my body? Or do I listen to my body (and I have spent YEARS of ignoring my body telling me that it's full or not hungry) I may be wrong but I am choosing to listen to my body and not eat :)

Love ya,
Kaffi

Thursday's Intake

Hey Kaffi,

Breakfast:

Subway egg white omelette with lots veg, low fat mayo, English muffin, large orange, 2 glasses water = 5

Lunch:

Meat loaf, mashed potatoes and mixed veg (corn, peas, carrots) 8, 3, 1 = 12

So, as of 1:25 p.m., I have consumed 17 points and have 12 left.

So I came home and hubby made a beautiful meal, roast beef, mashed potatoes and mixed veggies. Did not even for a moment have the heart to tell him I had mashed & veg for lunch with beef albeit meat loaf but you get my drift right? I measured portions with my WW spoons but feel tooooo friggin' brain dead to figure out points. :( I feel tired, full, water logged and oh yeah, I just had a fudgesicle - I know that is 2 points. LOL

So if I make an assumption that my meal (being so similar to my lunch) was 12 points.... then.... I would have no points left for the fudgesicle. So earlier this week I had eaten 20 of my flex points. So the fudgesicle and the apple and the 1/2 of a all bran bar afterwards can go on flex points so that takes them to 25 points with my day consumed at reg points. whew!

Oh shit! just remembered the three little jersey milk 1 squares I found in the bottom of the snack drawer... well a Hershey's Kiss is 2 points each so that would be 6 points so now my flex remainder for the week stands at 4! eek!

Sex & the City 2 & Giving Blood

Hey Kaf,

We are both supposed to give blood at lunchtime tomorrow. Are we still on for this? I am. What about you?

I want to buy advance tickets for S&City 2. You wanna go with? Need to know ASAP.

love,

Heddi

Thursday blahs

Hey Kaffi,

Thursday is starting off feeling like I haven't slept in a month. argh! hope I can stay on track today. Have a super one! Love ya!

Heddi

Wednesday

Ok here goes.......
Breakfast: 1/2 cup strawberries (1 pt) (29 pts left)
1/2 cup yogurt (3 pts) (26 pts left)
1/2 sp K cereal (1 pt) (25 pts left)

Snack: banana (2 pts) (23 pts left)

Lunch: 12 pieces of cal roll sushi (9 pts) (14 pts left)

Supper: 4 hard tacos (8 pts) (6 points left)
I actually put a Healthy Choice "meditarian grilled vegetable" and gagged trying to eat the 2 bite so threw it out !!! Won't buy that one again !!! EWWW

snack: fudgesicle (2 pts) (4 points left)

1 1/2 litres of water so far but it's only 6 pm.........lots of water drinking time left !!

Emotionally it was an ok day - but I was teaching today, so didn't have time to think about much except for the lesson plan.

Looking forward to hearing about the other WW leader.

Love ya,
Kaffi

Wednesday - worried about it

Breakfast consisted of eating Lil D's leftover honey nut cheerios in 1% milk and I added 2 bananas to it (filling foods so they only count for 2 points), drank 250 ml of orange juice and by 1 p.m. had 4 glasses of water. Lunch was a 6 inch roast beef subway sub with tons of veg (no cheese) and low fat mayo - 5 points (when they have nutrional info on website, do you think they are including sauce?) . I also ate a cup of raw cookie dough, maybe a smidge less then a cup. I will do the points chart tomorrow. Tooo tired tonight. I had two small / medium pieces of homemade pizza. I am about to have a fudgesicle. I will chart in the morning. I know that sounds bad but very tired and just finished posting 6 work blogs.

Really early Wednesday

Whew I made it !!! Yesterday is over !!! :D WOW that was a bad one !! Made it through :)

I didn't list my food so here it is:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup mixed berries (1 pt) ( 29 pts left)
1 cup yogurt (6 pts) (23 pts left)
1/2 cup sp K (1pt) (22 pts left)

Lunch: 1 egg (2 pts) (20 pts left)
1 0z cheese (3pts) (17 pts left)
1 ww bagel (1 pt) (16 pts left)

Snack: 1 fudgesicle (ONLY 2 pts!! ) :D (14 pts left)

Supper: Healthy choice Chicken Tai dinner (5 pts) (9 points left)

water 2 litres through out the day

right before bed I did sneak in the kitchen :( and ate a small bowl (apx 1 cup) of the kid's left over hamburger helper (7 pts) (2 points left)

Here's hoping today is a better day :)
Love ya Kaffi

Thank you

Kaffi,

It is 11:10 at night. I have 7 points left and no one has been up in my house but me for hours. I tried to call you at work about a WW meeting I went to tonight but you were not available. I was disappointed. I was sooooo excited and motivated. The leader was great!

I really want to thank you for the entry you put here. It is amazing! I can so relate to your feelings / relationship with food. I would love to make some of mom's chocolate icing and dive in right now. But I am not. But dammit, it is NOT easy. I sooooo appreciate your honesty and sharing.

Well I have to get some stuff from the dryer and think I will get a Skinny Cow while I am down there. Scroll to the bottom of our blog to see our tickers and a really brief show. :) Also check out my chart on today's foods.

Love you!

Heddi

xo

Tuesday

Heddi,

This has been an extremely hard day. First I have only had 4 hours sleep. Knowing that I will have to work until 12:30 tonight and then get up at 6:30 tomorrow and teach all day, has been weighing pretty heavy on me.

I think I have been going through a bit of withdrawl actually. In the past I have so used food as a way to comfort myself and numb feelings. Now I am turning away from that, and "eating to live...rather than living to eat". I find that I am very emotionally raw. As well with the lack of sleep - I am also really missing the constant companion I have had my whole life - food. Food has always been a constant companion there through all the ups and downs. I remember hiding chocolate bars in my bedroom closet, just for those times that I needed that little bit of comfort.

I know that it will get better, I know that later on I will feel stronger. But right now I feel lost and it really sucks !! I will press on and not give in because I am really tired of having food control me in this way. I need to learn other healthier ways to comfort myself.

So please understand if I sound a little off - this is why. This is supposed to document our "journey" well this is as real as it gets :(

Also, I have been thinking in the last couple hours.......and GO FOR IT Heddi !! Really, I mean it !! Surprise me with the glitz and glamour you can add :D
Love ya,
Kaffi
ps will post my food choices later.....they have all been good.

How Tuesday went

Major successes today: gave zip loc bag of brownies and chocolate chip cookies that Mel and kids made to kids to take to school & give to friends. Went to a Weight Watcher meeting this evening with Tracy & Carole. The leader, Jim, is fantastic. Motivated me so much more then the Saturday leader whose name I still do not know.

Water	4 glasses	0 points
An apple	1 med	2 points
Skinny Cow fudge pop	1 mini	1 point
Salad with chicken, cheese, croutons, Catalina dressing	Medium size bowl	2, 2, 1, 0,0
Banana with low fat peanut butter	Medium	2, 2
Chili lean ground beef lots veggies & kidney beans & a glass of milk	2 bowls, 1%: 8 oz	8, 2
		22 points at 10:15 pm, have 7 points left to eat

A Freaky Monday

Dear Kaffi,

Well as you know from the phone chat we had, Monday arrived whilst I was at Emerg with hubby. We were there until about 4:20 in the morning. So while I was there I got hungry. I had Reese Peanut Cups and baked Cheetos. I took a picture of both of them re: nutrional values. :) I also had a bottle (500 ml) of Ginger Ale. They did not have diet in the machine. I forgot entirely to get the values on that. I think it was Canada Dry.

Reese Peanut Cups 260 cal 16 g fat 2 g fibre = 6 points

Baked Cheetos 150 cal 6 g fat 121 g fibre = 4 points

500 ml bottle of Ginger Ale = 2 points (this seems like less then I would have expected it to be)

So while at hospital I consume 12 points which was a lot considering I would have been asleep and consumed none. :(

(p.s. in case some one other then Kaffi reads this, my hubby is doing ok and is not in hospital at time of typing this)

For lunch, I had not one but two of the following. I usually have one of these for breakfast but I did not eat breakfast and just started tidying / cleaning instead.

1 egg (cooked in Mikey) and then put in a calorie reduced english muffin with a smidge of ketchup and cooking spray was used in bowl while cooking = 5 points x 2 = 10

1 large orange = 2 ponts

So this brunch was 12 points

So... heading into supper... I had used 24 points unless I count the hospital stuff as 12 flex points which I think might be best.

Supper was a baked skinless boneless chicken breast w Mrs Dash, Rice and a salad with poppy seed dressing. So the chicken was 3 points according to list website, the rice was 3 points according to the calculator, salad was 0 and my favorite dressing was 1 point. The Mrs. Dash was 0. So supper was only 6 points!!!

At this point of the day, 0 water had been consumed. Sprite Zero had been drunk off and on all day.

Then, Mel decided to bake brownies and cookies with the kids!!!! :(

2 brownies = 10 points :(

3 cookies = 5 points

I went to bed having consumed 45 points and no water. I am allowed 29 a day so 16 were flex.

BUT.... I WAS ACCOUNTABLE FOR EVERY SINGLE POINT!

Monday (17) - Kaffi

Heddi,

I found these wraps !!! They are high fibre wheat tortillas. I got them at Pete's Fruitique :)
each one has: 50 calories / 2g fat / 8g of fibre !!! So I calculated it........it said 0 points !
I will count one as 0.5 points though, seriously how can a wrap be 0??

Oh, I also added links to help us find the point value of food........so we don't have to go looking
for a book. :) The A-Z WW food list and the WW point calculator.

So here is my breakfast:
1 ww wrap (0.5 pts) 29.5 pts left
1 egg (2 pts) 27.5 pts left
1 oz cheese (3 pts) 24.5 pts left
chopped mushroom and onion
3 Litres of water over all day :D

Lunch:
9 pieces of california roll sushi (3 pts) 21.5 pts left

Supper:
2 lobster claws (1 pt) 20.5 pts left
1 large baked potatoe (4 pts) 16.5 pts left
melted butter - 4 tsp (4 pts) 12.5 pts left
1 1/16 piece apple pie (7.5 pts) 5 pts left

snack:
berry blast smoothie - small (3.5 pts) 1.5 pts left

Today will be a busy day for me - working from 1pm - 1230am.
Love ya,
Kaffi

JUST SAYING.....isn't that what blogging is for???

You have 3 choices : 1) give up 2) give in or 3) GIVE IT ALL YOU'VE GOT !!!

All I can say is I'm giving it all I've got !!!

I'm done sabotaging myself
I'm done w/ the excuses
I'm done w/ eating like it's my last meal
I'm done w/ saying I'll start over tomorrow....and tomorrow never comes
I'm done waiting for tomorrow
I'm done living my life on the sidelines
I'm done living in pain
I'm done watching other people's successes and wishing it was mine
I'm done being depressed about how I look
I'm done hiding from the world
I'm done giving a 1/2 @ss effort - I DESERVE to succeed !
I'm done giving up after a bad day/ week
I'm done settling for less
I'm done w/ being sick and tired ....so I'm giving it all I've got !!!
HELL YEAH !!!
(just saying) :)

Sunday

Hey Heddi,

Well today I had church for 3 hours. Came home and had some lunch and
then went for a nap. Pretty quiet sunday.

Food wise here goes:
Breakfast: 1 cup berries (1 pt) (29 pts left)
1 cup yogurt (6 pts) (23 pts left)
1/2 cup Special K (1 pt) (22 pts left)

Lunch: 1 cup left over rice (6 pts) (16 pts left)
shish kabob with 6oz of pork (6 pts) (10 pts left)

Snack: 1 piece ww bread (2 pts) (8 pts left)
1 tsp peanut butter (1pt) (7 pts left)
1 med banana (2 pts) (5 pts left)

Supper: Healthy Choice Sweet Sesame Chicken Steamer (6 pts) ( 1 flex pt used )

Water: 2 litres (4 - 500 ml glasses)

So it's 6:10pm and I am done for the day with my points.....a little freaky since my downfall
has always been right before bed eating.......when I am tempted to eat tonight, I will drink more water or eat some carrots. :)

Hope your day was good, Love ya,
Kaffi

Saturday and the Beginning of Sunday

Dear Kaffi,

Saturday began with me having nothing to eat or drink at all as I was at an all night work function (LOL - you know that right?) so then I picked you up and you gave me a piece of gum. Any points in that? I had the same lunch as you.

Fruit Cocktail to drink: no idea how many points

1/2 chicken melt & 1/2 tuna melt: 14 points

lots of fruit: 3 points (really?)

felt like I was going to explode

______________________

12 points remaining

then had a nap. LOL

Then woke up and rushed to movie and had a granola bar and a apple juice box.

When I got home I had toast (regular bread), 2 pieces with low fat pb & blueberry jam and went to bed.

Drank no water all day :( but beverage choices at home was diet ginger ale.

NOTE: I bought an Oh Henry bar when were at Walmart ---- had looked for a "slims" bar as you know... but you did not notice me put the Oh Henry on the belt.

So today, Sunday has started with an Oh Henry for breakfast: 300 calories & 17 grams of fat! It is now 12:18 and I have consumed diet ginger ale, the bar & 2 bites of a Timmie's lemon doughnut. Not a great start to the day. :( I feel like I did not sleep at all.

Happy to have been there for you!!!! That is what we are all about right?

Today.....you want the good or the bad?

Hey Heddi,
I just wanted to let you know how much it helped for you to be there today, supporting me when I stepped on the scale........we won't mention the actual number of pounds gained here.......but thank you. I don't know how much of the gain was peroid water retaining.......and I actually don't care.....I could spend alot of energy on beating myself up over that but that won't help me this week. Whatever it was ... IT"S OVER !!!!!

So today I made good choices :D
For brunch I had :
1 chicken melt sandwich : 14points (16 pts remaining)
1 cup of mixed fruit : 3points (13 pts remaining)

For supper I had:
2 pork and veggie barbequed shiskabobs (mostly veggies with 5 small pieces of pork):5 points (8 pts remaining)
1/2 cup of mushroom rice: 3 points (5 pts remaining)

Oh yeah almost forgot that yummy 2 bite brownie this am at your mom's: 5 points ( points all gone !!)

Also another NSV is I went to a movie tonight and for the first time ever I didn't get popcorn !!
Here's to a much better week !!!
Love Kaffi

Weighing ourselves at home........

Just wondering why we feel the need to weigh ourselves at home? I feel almost like it's like passing by a car accident........you just have to look. This week my period came, now I know that that time of the month can cause some weight gain.........but how much???? I guess this is a time when I should be trying to look at NSVs (non-scale victories) but my entire last week is now blury, in light of the hugs glowing "gain" that I just saw on my scale. I have now been going to WW for 4 weeks and had lost 9.6 pounds ....at least before I got on the scale this am!! I used to lose that in my 1st week, now I am struggling to make it to 10 pounds in a month !!! There is a little voice in my head saying.....WHATEVER !!! Why should you keep doing this???? Accept that you will always be big and just deal.......and that voice also really wants a donair and some poutine too... :) YAYA go torture someone else !!!! So I gained it's not the first in my life (for sure) and definitely won't be my last !!! What's important is HOW I REACT TO IT !!! This is exactly why I have joined and rejoined soooooo many times. I set myself up for perfection, and when I fail then I get down on myself, binge and then quit because I am too ashamed to go weigh in. Well I am not going to binge - well maybe on LOTS of water :) and in less than an hour I will go take my lumps......how much of the gain is period water retention? I don't know. But I do know one thing ...... I am not quitting because of a set back !!

Kaffi

Our Pledge from One Friend to Another

We have both done Weight Watchers many a time since we were 11 & 13 respectively. We have both had successes at it too over the years but never reached Lifetime status. So... fast forward to present day... now we are moms with two kids each, we are 42 years of age, still friends (since we were 16) and still fighting the battle of the bulge. We are wiser, in some respects, LOL, and we are committed to doing it fully this time. As we are both working different types of hours in our careers, sometimes it is a bit hard to touch base. We are thinking that this blog will be a super way to be accountable to each other and to ourselves. So here comes the pledge:

"I, Kathleen & I, Heather, hereby promise to faithfully blog each and every single solitary day no matter how busy, exhausting, stressful or blissful (ROFL - blissful!) our day is. When we blog, we will type every single solitary thing we consumed that day. Every blessed morsel as well as the liquid intake too. We can pop on several times a day (cuz since we are old our memories ain't what they used to be) or just the once to spill our entire guts about the day. We will also put a bit of what the day held for us: i.e. challenges or successes and / or our feelings. We also, if we get the time, find inspiring tidbits to put here for each other. Maybe quotes, maybe poems, a line or two of a song we can smile at or how about a joke. Hell, who are we kidding? Where we gonna find the time for all that?"

whew! ok, that is what we promise each other. Pinky swear.

Because we love ourselves enough to do this.